11 signs we’re sleep deprived and need a week in the Maldives, thanks
Remember not having children and feeling tired? Like on a Sunday you would wake up lazily and think, gosh I’m actually still tired although I’ve just woke up – think I’ll doze awhile longer.
Or you’ve just come home from work, sank into the sofa and thought, wrecked, I’m, absolutely wrecked.
Now fast forward to the present, to your life as a mum, and allow yourself a little laugh that you actually had to gumption to think you were tired then.
Hahahahahaha.
Sleep. We. Need. Sleep.
Here are 11 reasons we need to be placed inside a big feathery bed and left there for a week while we recuperate:
1. When someone without kids tells us they’re tired we laugh bitterly, hysterically, maniacally. Frighteningly.
2. We forget things. Credit card PIN numbers, where we parked the car, birthdays, our freaking home address.
3. Our need for a good night of uninterrupted sleeps develops in 0.0001 seconds from a tired whinge to full-on self-pitying sobbing. Quietly though in case we wake the child.
4. We dream about our children being teenagers so we can pay them back, whisking open their curtains just to see them recoil in fear at the sunlight like Dracula. It’s the only thing keeping us going.
5. The Cif is in the fridge. The cornflakes are in the hotpress. The milk is in the shed.
6. We are irritable to the point that if someone innocently says. “Hello” we irrationally manage to find it offensive. Hello? They said… hello? How DARE they!
7. When our kids are asleep we softly whisper to them, We love you, but why do you refuse to let mummy sleep? Why? Why must you do that? Do you hate mummy? Is that it?
8. We scream at coffee “YOU FRAUD YOU DON’T WORK!” In the supermarket. In front of people.
9. We walk into a room for a reason. When we get there we have absolutely no idea why we are there. We walk out and remember, walk back in and… yep, it’s gone again.
10. We’ve changed the well-worn phrase “better than sex” to “better than sleep”. Ooh this cake is better than sleep. This chocolate is better than sleep. Although ironically you know that NOTHING is in fact better than sleep. Except sleep.
11. We can nap anywhere. And we mean anywhere. In the queue in the supermarket, on the toilet, in between traffic light changes.
Can you relate mums? And by ‘can you relate’ what we really mean is did you have to read this article in three separate tries because you keep dozing off?